I'd like to preface by saying my good friend, Annie, sat me down about 4 years ago and plainly stated, "Charlee, I think you need to write a book. You have so many stories and totally random things happen to you! I think you could make some good money!" That being said, I'm pretty sure this story would make the cut of said book. Also, as fate would have it, "the bee story" takes place on Annie's wedding day...
I woke up on a Friday morning in May '09 really excited about my day. I was driving to Phoenix to celebrate the day Annie S. became Annie G! The actual drive up there is a whole other story in itself so I will fast forward to my drive home. It was about 6:30 pm- I was tired from the long day and ready to crash on my couch and watch some CSI. The moment I walked into my apartment I knew something was weird. Paisley, my psychotic black lab, was not eagerly awaiting my arrival. Instead she came trotting out of my room and just stood there. A huge difference from the usual jumping attack when I enter the door. Looking back the whole moment was very Lassie-esque, she was trying to tell me something. Curious, I walked into my room to see why she was acting so weird...I was expecting to find that she had chewed something she wasn't supposed to...standard.
As soon as I walked into the room I heard buzzing. I turn and find 3 bees around the lights. "Why are there bees?!" I yelled to my dog. I took a deep breath and walked to the kitchen to get Raid (that stuff kills on contact, as Duffy would say). As I reached for the Raid on top of the fridge I glanced up at my kitchen light, which to my horror is filled with bees! (I later counted 76 in there.) This is when I realize I have a bee problem and Raid is not going to help. The next couple of seconds were straight out of a movie. I looked at my hallway light, the windows, the floor. Bees everywhere!!!
Time out: I know what you're thinking, "This girl is overreacting, couldn't have been that bad." Well FYI I'm the kind of person who thinks she can, or at least will try to, handle anything thrown my way. Obstacles are my specialty and this was a big friggin' obstacle!
For a moment all I could think about was that Dane Cook bit where he says, " Who gets killed by bees?? Killer horses, now that's scary stuff, but bees? No way, bees aren't taking me out!" I had little visions of the morning news running through my mind, "Local woman and her dog killed by bees."
I start to worry, put the dog on a leash and run out of the house while calling the apartment complex.
After spending 2 hours at my mom's house (my mom and brother were in Huntington Beach during all of this and I couldn't stay there because her dog and my dog don't settle down when with eachother and things get crazy), I'm told that "bee people" have sprayed and it is safe to go back home.
I walk into my apartment and it is so NOT safe. There are bees flying out of my air vents, swimming in Paisley's water bowl, and swarming every light in my house... I can also hear buzzing coming from my bedroom walls! I call to explain the problem has not been resolved but am told that I need to just wait it out. They seem to think the bees are just dieing and by morning they will be gone. This is about the time that I am sure that I am dealing with an idiot on the other end of the line. "But I can HEAR them in the walls and they sound very much alive! Sir, there are a lot of freakin bees in there!!" My worries are ignored and am once again told to wait until the morning.
So my safety is pushed to the side and I am left in a house full of bees. I shut all the bedroom/bathroom doors and stick towels under the bottom of each one. Bees aren't taking me out! I end up sleeping is my living room where I built a fort-like structure. The next morning I wake up to an even louder buzzing coming from the walls, lights, and air vents. Now I'm angry. Duffy comes over to help me take care of the dog and the apartment people, who obviously need to see this for themselves. A couple of hours later the "bee guy" returns, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I explain the buzzing and the bees and he tells me to walk him through the house and show him what I mean. The moment I take him to my room the buzzing vibrates through the wall. "Oh man, you have a bee problem!" he yells. I smile and try to hold back my cheeky remarks- after all, he wasn't the one who didn't believe me. He tells he will take care of it and to come back in 30 minutes...by then they will be dead/gone, for sure.
Duffy, Paisley, and I return an hour and a half later to find the situation has only gotten worse. Not only has the bee guy called for backup but they are now in full on bee gear with the little hat-mask and everything! There are now neon cones with the word BEES on them placed around the outside of my apartment. I just stand there...half laughing, half crying. An elderly man watching the event says, "Man, I wouldn't want to be the person who lives there." Without taking my eyes off my home I blandly say, "I live there," and he starts to laugh.
The bee men huddle around me to explain what has happened, "Well, you had a colony in your bedroom wall. We had to cut holes in the walls to smoke them out. The problem with that is now there are even more bees inside but don't worry, they are dieing. We had to use a lot of chemicals so you should stay out of your room until Monday but the rest of the house is safe. Also, there will be a few bees here and there but not a whole hive like before so you won't die." The only response I had to this comment was laughter.
The bee people leave and I am left with hundreds and hundreds of dead or half dead bees in my home. Next, Duffy and I go back to my place in hopes of cleaning up all the bees. I get out my trusty vacuum and get to work. I begin to run the vacuum down the hallway. One by one the little devils that have made my past 24 hours an insane rollarcoaster are sucked up. As i get to the living room I start to smell something burning and look down to see smoke billowing up at me!!! I start screaming, "Fire! its on fire!" I quickly push the off button and Duffy and I run out to the patio.Once everything is safe we start to crack up. What a day... I guess there were too many bees for the Bissle!
In the end my place was bee free and I bought a new vacuum. Thankfully I haven't had another problem.
For a moment all I could think about was that Dane Cook bit where he says, " Who gets killed by bees?? Killer horses, now that's scary stuff, but bees? No way, bees aren't taking me out!" I had little visions of the morning news running through my mind, "Local woman and her dog killed by bees."
I start to worry, put the dog on a leash and run out of the house while calling the apartment complex.
After spending 2 hours at my mom's house (my mom and brother were in Huntington Beach during all of this and I couldn't stay there because her dog and my dog don't settle down when with eachother and things get crazy), I'm told that "bee people" have sprayed and it is safe to go back home.
I walk into my apartment and it is so NOT safe. There are bees flying out of my air vents, swimming in Paisley's water bowl, and swarming every light in my house... I can also hear buzzing coming from my bedroom walls! I call to explain the problem has not been resolved but am told that I need to just wait it out. They seem to think the bees are just dieing and by morning they will be gone. This is about the time that I am sure that I am dealing with an idiot on the other end of the line. "But I can HEAR them in the walls and they sound very much alive! Sir, there are a lot of freakin bees in there!!" My worries are ignored and am once again told to wait until the morning.
So my safety is pushed to the side and I am left in a house full of bees. I shut all the bedroom/bathroom doors and stick towels under the bottom of each one. Bees aren't taking me out! I end up sleeping is my living room where I built a fort-like structure. The next morning I wake up to an even louder buzzing coming from the walls, lights, and air vents. Now I'm angry. Duffy comes over to help me take care of the dog and the apartment people, who obviously need to see this for themselves. A couple of hours later the "bee guy" returns, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. I explain the buzzing and the bees and he tells me to walk him through the house and show him what I mean. The moment I take him to my room the buzzing vibrates through the wall. "Oh man, you have a bee problem!" he yells. I smile and try to hold back my cheeky remarks- after all, he wasn't the one who didn't believe me. He tells he will take care of it and to come back in 30 minutes...by then they will be dead/gone, for sure.
Duffy, Paisley, and I return an hour and a half later to find the situation has only gotten worse. Not only has the bee guy called for backup but they are now in full on bee gear with the little hat-mask and everything! There are now neon cones with the word BEES on them placed around the outside of my apartment. I just stand there...half laughing, half crying. An elderly man watching the event says, "Man, I wouldn't want to be the person who lives there." Without taking my eyes off my home I blandly say, "I live there," and he starts to laugh.
The bee men huddle around me to explain what has happened, "Well, you had a colony in your bedroom wall. We had to cut holes in the walls to smoke them out. The problem with that is now there are even more bees inside but don't worry, they are dieing. We had to use a lot of chemicals so you should stay out of your room until Monday but the rest of the house is safe. Also, there will be a few bees here and there but not a whole hive like before so you won't die." The only response I had to this comment was laughter.
The bee people leave and I am left with hundreds and hundreds of dead or half dead bees in my home. Next, Duffy and I go back to my place in hopes of cleaning up all the bees. I get out my trusty vacuum and get to work. I begin to run the vacuum down the hallway. One by one the little devils that have made my past 24 hours an insane rollarcoaster are sucked up. As i get to the living room I start to smell something burning and look down to see smoke billowing up at me!!! I start screaming, "Fire! its on fire!" I quickly push the off button and Duffy and I run out to the patio.Once everything is safe we start to crack up. What a day... I guess there were too many bees for the Bissle!
In the end my place was bee free and I bought a new vacuum. Thankfully I haven't had another problem.
Oh, and by the way, I've never been stung before. Who knows if I'm allergic.
<---------My kitchen light
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